Our one-story house in the heart of the Silicon Valley was my departure point every morning. I’d open the fakakta garage and get on my bike every weekday to attend Palo Alto High School, the same high school that Ron “Pigpen” McKernan, a founding member of the Grateful Dead, attended several decades prior. His name may be better known than mine but, hey, at least I graduated.
11. Endless Dicks formed when One Dick and Two Dick wanted to play their high school’s Battle of the Bands and be the worst band there.
12. They ripped their shirts off and played a song called “Avocado Extravaganza: A Work in Two Movements.”
13. For the first movement, they hit avocados with drumsticks while screaming.
14. For the second movement, they hit the avocados rhythmically while humming the sea shanty “Friggin’ in the Riggin.”
15. They weren’t the worst band at Battle. This was partly due to One Dick’s solo acoustic set, in which he exclusively strummed an E minor chord.
How in an elected body of 20 college students can you get a Finance Representative who isn’t pressured to resign until two and a months after signing away $4,500 dollars in student activities fee funds without seeking permission, a Vice President of Finance who is unconstitutionally off campus for more than one block of the year and a president who gives $20,000 to the Butler Center as a “gift to the community,” despite never being asked to do so by any Butler Center representative, all without any vote from the student body?
If you answered this brainteaser with “The 2014-2015 Colorado College Student Government Association (CCSGA) Executive Council,” you’re correct.
Outside the publication house, snow falls. Inside, your loyal Cipher staff puts the final touches on Block 4’s issue. On this particular Saturday morning, in its first front-page editorial in 95 years, The New York Times called for outlawing the kinds of rifles used in the massacre that left 14 people dead at a holiday party in San Bernardino last Wednesday.
“I have an interesting case,” says Leonard Zelig in Woody Allen’s 1983 Zelig. “I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people.”
We were friends for at least a decade, which is a long time for a 21-year-old to know someone at that level of intimacy. To the doctors who performed surgery in order to remove you this summer, you were known as hallux abducto valgus—but to me, you were simply known as the bunion on the side of my left big toe. And yet, you were so much more than that.