lucinda jaffe

Shaking in a Park

Lake and I talk about the fireworks business for a while, and he brags about all his romantic conquests, including one in which he made out with ten girls and five guys in one night. We walk on the beach near the power plant and talk about how we are so glad we have reconnected. He says, “Hey, want to get high as balls sometime?” I smoked cannabis sometimes my freshman year and enjoyed it, so I say, “Totally.”

Searching for Endless Dicks

11. Endless Dicks formed when One Dick and Two Dick wanted to play their high school’s Battle of the Bands and be the worst band there.

12. They ripped their shirts off and played a song called “Avocado Extravaganza: A Work in Two Movements.”

13. For the first movement, they hit avocados with drumsticks while screaming.

14. For the second movement, they hit the avocados rhythmically while humming the sea shanty “Friggin’ in the Riggin.”

15. They weren’t the worst band at Battle. This was partly due to One Dick’s solo acoustic set, in which he exclusively strummed an E minor chord.